Game, Set and Match, He smirked!
Chronicles of lifting Light :
Tales from The Poet and the Peasant
There is a certain daring “edge” in acting out a role playing game on a partner(s) in public, especially if (in our case) one favors pickpocketing.
It’s a certain adrenaline thrill, both addictive and desirable, that increases up until the “mark” is relived of one or more of her dangling valuables. Whether its carried out with a simple bump, a lift conveyed while, say dancing, or a squeeze play maneuvered with a second player, it all creates and holds a level of excitement most thrilling in its nature, quite erotic within its scope.
This Chronicle contains short essays on pickpocketing games played solely within our group over the past few years.
These were games only, done with full knowledge and consent of all the players ( with a couple of exceptions where the parties involved were not informed of the actual happenings until sometime after the fact.)
Any articles of jewelry lifted were returned to their original owners, albeit sometimes those owners at first thought the jewelry being returned had just simply fallen away.
The actual facts have been stretched, padded and enhanced, due primarily to the significant detail that I rather like those in my immediate circle, and in order to keep them liking me, have agreed to “put meat on the bone” so to speak, when putting pen to paper.
This journal is far from complete, and additional stories will be added as they are played out.
The “Poet and the Peasant” Is a little backwater pub owned and run by Brian’s Aunt and Uncle. It’s a laid back place, music (Mostly live, some dead, as our saying goes) .Beyond its ornate doorway one finds the usual caste of regulars ,Including us, consuming a generous selection of ales and other “demon” drink.
The pub is housed in an ancient old building with all sorts of old Victorian era objects, found and given a home in the pub’s numerous nooks and crannies. Including the yellowed skull of poor Erik.
Erik was a 14th century welsh poet and balladeer who supposedly was beheaded for making several torrid lyrics about a certain Saxon king. The lyrics are long forgotten, but Erik’s remains still reign. His grinning skull sits high up in a shelf along a balustrade, usually with a cigar clamped in his jaws. Couldn’t tell how many times some bloke with more’in his fill of drink has tried to light it for the poor blighter.
The pub is a regular howl around Halloween, thanks to Erik, who has obtained quite a degree of notability, despite being dead and silent for all these long years. Costume and poetry contests abound around this time of the year.
Basically, Erik aside, the “Poet and the Peasant” is a great place to hang out and make plans with a pint in hand.
We were heading to a small resort that we once had stayed at for a wedding and reception. It was Just “Ginny” and I on a 4 day escape from reality. We were passing through one of the small towns on the way, when Ginny spotted a dress shoppe, with several mannequins wearing evening frocks. She had to stop, we had a function the next month and she had “nothing to wear”( Liar I thought grinning).
We went inside and on a “gently worn” rack she pulled out this long string sleeved satin number and tried it on. The young clerk said it was patterned after the one in the movie atonement ( which neither of us had seen) but its rich deep green( Irish green the clerk called it, which I really had no idea was a colour) really set off Ginny’s long copper hair, and I liked the way her hair laid down her bare backside.
We arrived at the resort in early afternoon and claimed our suite( paid for by an anniversary gift) and set out to explore the place. The resort was packed, and we found out that there were 2 evening wedding receptions taking place on Saturday. An Idea began to take seed and as we walked I found a way to bring it into conversation.
Ginny had brought her rhinestones ( see Album Chronicles of lifting Light, B) for a bit of date roleplay in our suite some chosen evening of our stay. I suggested that she should give her gown and the rhinestones a try in public. Where she asked? I than laid out my game plan and a smile crept across her face, lit up by the sun poking through the trees on the wooded path we had been walking. Ginny liked to dress up, and I used that trump card to my advantage.
At around 5pm I slipped into the larger of the two receptions (crashed if you like) and wondering over to the bar I got a drink and waited, nursing it. I was reasonably presentable in a suit jacket, slacks, silk shirt and satin tie. As I waited I found myself pretty much unnoticed, which was a far cry from what Ginny encountered when she cautiously entered about fifteen minutes later, green gown swirling, rhinestones all a glitter. It didn’t take long for the sharks to start circling. One lad started a conversation, and I watched her squirm a little, before putting my drink down and coming to my damsel’s rescue. I had to literally peel the bloke away from her. We went onto the dance floor, pretending like we had never met. As we danced through several songs I could tell by the look in Ginny’s eyes that she was feeling the same fire within that I was. Ready for part 2 ? I asked, she got a surprised look in her eyes, and began to check herself, uh uh I said, not till we leave. We went out together; I spied the bloke watching us from a table, and smirked to meself over his look of frustration.
Outside we started to walk along the promenade, joining along with several other ladies, charming in their in gowns and frills, with their tuxedoed escorts, escapees all of us from the receptions. Ginny felt exceptionally good as, with my arm around her, she cuddled into my side while we walked some distance. But our bliss was not long, when Ginny , looking back, said there was a hotel security cop heading our way. Damn I thought, pinched for crashing the reception.
The rent-a-cop came up to us, and placing a firm grip upon my shoulder(or tried, I was a good foot taller, where do they find these blokes?) talked directly to Ginny. Everything alright then Miss, he questioned Ginny, trying to sound professional, and he almost pulled it off, except he squeaked on the word Miss.
Why yes, officer Ginny said, pouring on the charm( which is a quite frightful weapon in her capable hands), thank you for your lovely concern, but why do you ask? I received a report that this man may have been bothering you, Ma’am he said , no squeaks this time. He looked at me, I just grinned back at him, waiting for Ginny to belt it out of the park. She smiled, her green eyes brite, and laying a hand on the “officers” chin, told him how adorable his concern was for her safety, but her husband and she made sure he saw her ring, is really not that much of a bother most of the time. Husband he started, than stopped, caught his embarrassment nicely, then tried to save it, but Miss, I heard you had lost a necklace.
Whatever reaction he had hoped by saying this, it was not the one he got. Oh that, she said, the clasp broke, so my husband took it for safe keeping, really, where would I have put it, and she stepped back and let him look her over for evidence of supporting her statement. Game, Set and Match, I smirked to myself!
With the way she looked in that satin gown, and her charm at full output, no mere mortal male would have been able to stand a chance. Well, he choked out, all’s good then isit, and releasing my shoulder; he turned heel, and walked off hurriedly, like a scolded puppy with its tail between its legs. Ginny giggled, well played I told her, well played. And, again with my arm around her and Ginny cuddling in, we continued our stroll, with Ginny letting out the occasional chortal of laughter over the whole incident.
We reached an overlook over the lake, where a pair of swans was meandering about. A young lady in a long white dress with a glittering bracelet around one wrist, was walking along the path that edged along the lake. The swans were near her, reminding me of a tele commercial I had seen long ago ( If anyone else remembers it please leave a comment).
Ginny caught me looking, wanna do the path luv, she whispered with in a most beguiling manner. We did so, and eventually found a rather isolated little nook behind a hedge grow. Here I will have to leave to the readers imagination what transpired there, for the only witnesses were the two of us, and a rather surprised chippy who crawled out of his hole for a gander…
On our way back we once again stopped at the overlook. Time to tally up I said. Ginny smiled and opening her purse pulled out a scrap of paper. She showed it to me, on it was written the word necklace. Lucky guess, did you feel me take it I asked. Of course she lied; I could have done it better. Wanna bet I teased. Maybe someday we’ll see she responded. Now the way the game worked was that I pretended to be a light fingered jewel thief, with my eyes on the lady in green’s jewels. It was my objective to lift a piece of Ginny’s jewellery some point in the evening..
Ginny agreed to it on the condition that beforehand she would write down a piece of jewellery on a piece of paper, if it matched the piece I had lifted, than I could decide what we would do the next evening, if not, she would decide. So later, as we had a few drinks in a nearby pub ( still dressed in “costume”) I (the winner) outlined the plans for the next evening.
So the following evening, after a rather nice feast by the fireplace in the resorts great room, we found ourselves once again in a bar ( this time the resorts lounge). I was wearing the same suit, and had Ginny’s purloined necklace in my jacket pocket. Ginny was wearing a black satin blouse, ¾ sleeved, with long white and blacked stripped skirt. She wore her gold jewellery, and her long hair was up, held by rhinestone clips. At one point she excused herself to the loo, and when she returned took the chair next to me, and started to come on to me. I played along and after a few drinks, and dances, she led me out to the lobby.
Making way outside to the long wooden walkaway of the promenade, we began our way along it. Finding an isolated bench, we began to make out, as if we were strangers who had just met. After a long (glorious) while, we stood( wobbly) and made our way down to the lake, and continued our light petting.
At one point Ginny stopped, and looking me in the eye, said, well sir, its been fun, but id better go. Immediately I patted my pocket, the necklace was gone. Naughty I said, distracting me on the bench hussy, I teased. Her eyes got a gleam, follow me she said. We retraced our steps, hand in hand, and she led me to the the bench, and then surprisingly passed it. We regained the lobby, and she stopped by a corner, where a larger fern like plant sat in a rather big ceramic pot. Reaching in, she pulled out the necklace. Very good I said, never felt you take it.
So, I win then, she smirked. Yes I agreed, I had guessed wrong by thinking she had picked my pocket on the bench. So let’s go an collect me winnings then, sir, she ordered me, her eyes large and hungry. As we made our way I tried to get her to tell me when she had lifted the necklace, but she just placed a secret little smile on her lips, and remained silent on the subject….
Anyone who has taken the bother to riffle through my earlier Chronicles of Lifting Light, knows I have a twin sister who at times past has been my foil to practice upon. Well, I will leave it up to you to decide who the foil was in this tale.
We were all hanging out at the pub (“Poet and the Peasant” of course) one evening, the four of us, being the silly selves that mid- twenties youth are prone to being, especially when alcohol is involved.
We were trying to drink away the memories of what our previous week of work had given us, and were well on our way to meeting that objective, when a song from the band Cold Play come on. Ginny had asked my sister who it was, and instead of answering right away, she gave something a bit of thought, then my sister started smirking. Cold Play, like squeeze Play , remember “Ginny?”
Both Girls just started giggling, “Brian” just got a sullen look at the memory, and I, I just reflected…..
In our University years, my sister worked part time for a company that raised funds for charities, like OXFAM, etc. Among the various types of events were a couple of “Black Tie” affairs that I enjoyed because it gave Brian and I the chance to escort my Sister and Ginny ( the girls ever beautiful in fancy dress) to attend them.
Now, my sister had this co-worker,”Shiela”, who was absolute vinegar to my sister’s honey, hell, she was vinegar to any pretty female’s honey! She was a squawker, a squealer, and a backstabbing slag, in other words, not a very nice girl atoll. She was also was twice divorced from wealthy young scions who could not spot a gold digger for the life of them until they had been broadsided along the head with her gilded shovel.
During one warm late Autumn we were attending one of the Charity Dances being held in the big city proper. They had a pair of bands lined up, one kind of a Disco’ish throwback, and for later, a proper one that played a more romantic beat, one that called for slow dancing. The Girls were more into the Disco then we males were( a feeling that affected most of us in attendance) and the floor was flooded with a gaggle of swishing dresses and gowns dancing and swirling around to the frantic beat of the music, all performed with swirling lights in the darkened, smog filled dance floor, while the guys just sat around enjoying the show being put on.
As Brian and I watched the provocative females on the floor dancing, we noticed that our girls were slowly moving out amongst the throng of pretty dancers, rather than maintaining one area. Soon they had moved next to “Shiela”, who was dancing with this cousin of hers. Now I found this surprising, because Sis and Ginny had been throwing daggers with their eyes at “Shiela” all evening. She had been sitting with her wealthy new boyfriend, who was always bending to her demands, as evidenced by the expensive new finery she was sporting, which really had gotten a certain Twins goat. So it was with some puzzlement that when her cousin took a breather, Ginny and my twin slipped in to take her place, moving in rhythm with the now quite intoxicated “Shiela”.
Sis was facing “Shiela” and Ginny was behind her, all three of them gyrating their arms, hands and most of their other body parts in motion, up down and all around each other , so close at times that you would have had an effort at squeezing a hand between them.
What’s that pair up to now? Brain questioned me, as if I had a hand in it, I just shook my head, knowing only that I wanted to be in the middle of that sandwich instead of “Shiela”, but as it turned out, good thing I wasn’t.
We watched as the long song went on, with its deep bass beat that almost sounded like it had been lifted from some horror flick. Ginny and Sis continued to revolve, twist and swirl around the guileless “Shiela” as their colourfully brite (slinky) dresses shimmered in a most provocative fashion, bathed as they were caught by the dimly lit, smoke filled, dance floors blue strobes. A few times “Shiela” seemed to lose her footing, and fell against my Sister, who I thought took it surprisingly well as she gently steadied her foe.
Then the song ended, and all three girls laughed and giggled, actually hugged one another. I heard Brian letting out an chiding snort, I , well I was still just mesmerized by the whole act. Ginny and My Sister than walked the slightly dizzy “Shiela” back to her table, even going so far as to help her set down, before turning and heading back to our table. Both of them wearing chuff grins like the kittens that had eaten the canary.
Wotcher?, said Brian questioning their look. Oh God I thought, knowing the answer, for I had been watching “Shiela” as the girls had left and approached. My sister, looking around, held out her hand and opened her fist. There, all balled up and glittering, was the expensive diamond pendent of the set of matching diamonds that “Shiela” had been flaunting about to everyone all evening.
Brian Jumped all over the two, giving them quite the bollocking, “games we played on each other was one thing, but what you pair had done was wade into some very dangerous waters indeed”! So what’s next I chimed in, and by the looks on their heavily made-up faces realized the silly twits hadn’t thought of that end. We hastily discussed the matter, knowing that time was anything but on our sides. Finally Brian took it from my admonished(seemingly) twin, and marching it up to the disc jockey, had him make an announcement describing what his “sister” had found in the loo.
“Shiela”, whom we all had been watching, let out a shriek as her hands flew groping to her chest in fruitless examination, jumped up and immediately claimed it, or tried to as the Jocky had a little bit of fun with it first. “Shiela” and her haplessly star struck Beau, were so hopping mad at the Jocky, they pretty much gave no thought as to how the pretty thing actually had been lost in the first place. This was a lucky break for a couple of girls, who still sat their smugly smiling, as Brian tried in vain to continue scolding them. Me, I just looked at the twittering pair, wondering, pondering thoughts of me own.
Now it wasn’t until a couple of years later on the night my sister made the remark about the cold play song that the girls felt comfortable talking a bit more about the incident .And before Brian could listen without tabooing the subject. And it was then that I learnt how the pair of them had managed to take the diamonds from “Shiela”
It turned out the two had had no real plan, just that they had been discussing “Shiela” between themselves and had been debating over how fun it would be to knock her down a peg or so. One of the scenarios presented was to have her be given the shock of losing a piece of her expensive jewelry, and they even discussed bringing me into the fold, but thought better of it.
Although I am not sure if I would have taken them up on it, but since then I have thought out different ways I would have approached the problem, both by myself, and with the girls help. Although I wouldn’t have tried for the necklace, I figured her ring or bracelet would not have been beyond my scope of achievement. Although, with the girls help…….
Anyway they finally decided to try it themselves, after all how hard could it be to take, say a cocktail ring from “Shiela’s” sweaty finger as she was dancing away on the crowded floor?
They decided to join in the dance and get close to “Shiela” and if an opportunity arose, my sister was to signal Ginny by rubbing a finger alongside her nose to bump against “Shiela”, pushing the hapless B… into me devious twin. It was Ginny who came up with the name “squeeze play”, because I once had grasped and squeezed her from behind, removing her ring in the process.
Now “Shiela” was wearing what I guess is called an A-line gown, where her front was totally covered by the gowns shiny material, no gloves, just sweat glistened skin. As they moved in on “Shiela” Ginny took position behind, while Sis took the front, and at one point laid a hand upon “Shiela’s” shoulder, “Shiela” did likewise as they swayed to the deep rhythmic beats. Sis tried to grasp “Shiela’s” free hand, the one where she was wearing a diamond cocktail ring, but she kept missing. In the process she realized that the hand she had placed on her victims shoulder was almost touching the thick gold chain of her nemesis’s necklace, which held the diamond pendent that was bouncing about.
Looking “Shiela” directly in the eyes she began to work the necklace along as they danced, until her fingers felt the clasp. It was lobster clasp, similar to one my sister had on the emerald necklace Brian had given her. Sis gave it an exploratory push, and it surprisingly opened under her fingers. Startled at what had happened, she forgot the signal, and nodded to Ginny, who plowed into the hapless “Shiela’s” backside, as my sister felt “Shiela” fall against her. She whisked off the necklace with one hand, while steading the giggling “Shiela” with her other. Backing away she placed both hands behind her back as “Shiela” turned to receive Ginny’s apologies. Sis balled up the chain in one hand, holding it tightly closed for the remainder of the dance. They helped “Shiela” back to her table, my Sister placing the fist holding the necklace alongside her victims back as they helped guide the still giggling “Shiela” to a seat.
Walking away, my Sister thought that it had been almost scary how easily it had been to open the clasp and pluck off the necklace. It shouldn’t have been, she kept telling herself, but she knew it was, for she had the evidence in her hand, and she was not even close to ever being a professional about such things. My twin has said that afterwards that it had given her a lot of perturbed thoughts when wearing any good jewelry of hers in public, (particularly her emeralds with the Lobster clasp) and finds herself on occasion still doing spot checks whenever she has been brushed by someone. But then, I think we all do on occasion, knowing the kind of games we like to play.
So as one can see, overall ,this is a rather touchy subject to tackle. But there was no denying that Sis (and Ginny I suspect) were proud of their accomplishment at the time. It was almost like my twin was trying to impress upon me that I was not the only one with light fingers. A subject that, trust me, has been, and will continue to be explored down a sometimes crooked “garden” path.
Anyone who has read Chronicles B knows that Ginny and Brian both received the upcommence for the manner in which they had gotten my sisters jewelry at the wedding reception. But as for me, she waited a bit, biding her time, for like the proverbial elephant( which she has a bit of a collection) my twin does not forget.
And revenge is a dish best served cold.
She had pleaded with me to lend her £80! Her beguiling eyes were opened wide as she begged; “It’s perfect” she had said, “I will pay you back, with interest” she coyly added, looking into my eyes with that certain look that has served her purposes so very well.
A bit of background:
We had all had been invited to my sister’s boyfriend “ Brian’s” parents renewal of their wedding vows the following month and , I knew she wanted to make an impression at the fancy dress. Sis and my better half, “Ginny” had gone dress shopping, and apparently Sis had found a gown that they both liked quite a bit, but it cost a bit more than she could afford the moment and Ginny, having just bought a new dress herself that day, was temporarily out of lending cash. So Sis had had them hold it, then tracked me down to ask a favor( nothing new there), and was now begging me to lend her £80, to help pay it off.
She knew I was a sucker for a good plead, especially when I received the puppy eye look that my sister, and Ginny , had down pat ( not to mention my golden retriever Sam).
As it happened, I owed her a small favor, so I gave her the needed notes without making her bargain her life away, and she skipped off happily. I figured that would be the last of it until her payday, but being a mere man in a lady’s world, I was yet once more wrong on that account.
Later that week sis rang me up. She had a formal reunion she just received the invitation to. It was at a large, multipurpose hall about an hour away, and was going on the weekend before Brian’s parents do. It was being put on for her old coworkers at the Barristers office she had interned at while at Oxford. Brian was busy that weekend getting ready for his parents party, and would not be able to be her escort. So she called to see if I would be his backup. As incentive, said she would wear the gown I had lent her the money for if I agreed to be her chaperone. Seeing how smashing my sister looks when she dresses up (like my Ginny also), It was impossible to say no to her pleads. Unfortunately Ginny had switched weekends with a co-worker so she could make Brian’s do the next weekend, so she was out of the picture also. Which was a shame, escorting a pair of well-dressed young ladies is always something I always looked forward to doing. But one is also quite nice.
I arrived at my twin’s apartment that appointed evening and waited while she put on the finishing touches. Ready? she had called out sweetly, yes I said, and out she came strolling, a wide big smile on her dolled up face. I figured my eyes did a bugger, for she started to giggle in the way she does when overly pleased with herself (which actually happens quite a bit frequently).
She was totally stunning, a living “Galatea”, and I told her as much. Her long silvery gown was hanging from her figure like someone had poured it over her. And that is just what it looked like someone had done! I have heard the term liquid satin, but this was just incredible the way it delightfully flowed and swished as she moved about. Brian was going to go nuts when her saw her, and she definitely would be turning some heads as she strolled in with him. She twirled around in a circle for full effect, and I just stood there mesmerized by the women before me that was my kid sister( by all of 4 minutes), the same sister that had only days before been wearing stained shirt and jean jumper, tramping through the barn in the horses stalls, while hauling shovelfuls of …… well I’m sure you get the gist of it..
As I said it was a long thin gown, of a colour that seemed to change between silver and cream as it moved slinking along her youthful figure, with wide straps that went over her shoulders ending in four thin spaghetti straps along her back. The bodice was all decorated with swirls of rhinestones, going down and around her gowns waistline. She was also wearing her sliver open toed heels, the ones with the rhinestone straps (with pointed toes that rightfully hurt when kicked….. another day, another story). She had also put on her rhinestone jewelry, a set consisting of earrings, necklace and wide dangling bracelet. The total package presented was quite a vision to behold, and I told her as much.
That, my girl, I said with enthusiasm, is one rightful picture of eye-catching loveliness you have gone and managed to make of yourself! She gushed, your sweet, and gave me an all-enveloping hug. As she broke away, sis looked up at me smiling and curtsied, why thank you kind sir, and once you have picked your jaw off the floor, can we please be going. Certainly I said, and opened the door for her. As she rustled past, sis asked if I thought Brian would like it? Lass, I said with all due modesty, He would be a daft bugger if he didn’t. I added, It was certainly money well lent, and she looked at me teasingly, okay mood breaker, for that you won’t get the first dance. Likely I will be the only one wishing to dance with you anyway I retorted, what will you be doing then? She just squished her eyes at me, turned and closed and locked her apartment door.
Suddenly I stopped, Oi! , wait a minute, I felt my suit coat pocket, okay luv, give it back I said as she grinned back at me, producing my thin, special occasion only, wallet. Getting better, aren’t I? She stated happily, it wasn’t a question. A bit I admitted, you’ve been practicing then? Only on you and Ginny she stated, but you two are getting too easy she smirked. I playfully tapped her on the back, what’s all this about easy I asked, producing her bracelet from me pocket, dangling it shimmering in front of her mascara lined eyes, you may want to put this back on I said.
Turd, she exclaimed taking it back, no more hugs for you mister, she stated, taking my arm and pulling me out to my car. All tricks out of the way now?, Good we can enjoy the evening with no more worries. I just nodded as I led her to me car, a bullet grey 1954 Circa Mercedes that Brien’s Uncle had helped me restore. As I opened the door, my sister slipped herself in, while under her breath she said playfully ( and not for the first time) “how I ever survived those first nine months I spent with you in such close proximity without going bonkers, I will never know!”
It took us almost 90 minutes to find the joint, arriving with the do in full swing. I was amazed at the number of vehicles in the over filled lot. When we got inside the poshly decorated “palace” We discovered that there were a total of 3 formal functions going on, ours, and a wedding reception on the second floor, and a formal dance for some private girls only academy occupying the entire first floor.
We went upstairs and found the chamber where the Barrister’s office reunion was being held. Now I will admit that I had harbored some thoughts that Sis may have been quite a bit overdressed for the event, but my fears were unfounded. What greeted my eyes was quite a “snob fest” of overdressed and fairly pompous looking guests. I had only ever met a couple of my sister’s former coworkers, and they had been interns her own age. But the majority here were the snooty , older husband and wives, of , of course, a group of stuck up Barristers. We were unable to spy any of Sis’s old friends, but while looking we were immediately scooped up by one of her old bosses co-workers ( whom sis had found insufferable) and led around like some prize colts, being introduced to a bunch of older coots who forgot our names as fast as they were given( we were nobodies) , although I satisfactorily noticed more than a few leering and jealous eyes looking over me sister. But, alas, nothing from the female end found me even remotely interesting (ouch in the ego department there)
We finally found an empty table, and I went off for drinks. As I watched over my sister while waiting for the barkeep to mix the drinks, I saw a rather posh looking tux boy zero in on our table and swoop in for the kill.
He was a rather tall chap with devilish good looks, thin moustache, small ponytail, monkey suit, the works! Looking like he was a model Fortunes mag rag, he loomed over me sister, and I knew what the cheeky devil was asking. Sure enough, sis cutely offered him her hand and he helped her up and led her to the dance floor. The barkeep handed me our drinks, and as I turned , Sis shot a look back at me as they were passing, a rather chiding look that I took meant “ told you, no first dance, mate” my suspicions were confirmed when added insult to injury as she stuck her tongue out at me over his shoulder.. I raised my glass in cheers, and headed back to our table.
I watched the two swirling around, feelin a bit jealous, but then this was me sister, not Ginny. I knew Brian would be seething, so I felt jealous for him I told meself. Then my mind went on to fantasize “what if he was after something, like say her jewels, and my mind went into a jewel thief mode, with him as the main character. ” I almost wish he had been, than he would be just no realizing that this little charmer had nothing to offer, and would soon be leaving her for greener pastures ( of which there was acres of at that place) and so dump his pretty partner after the one dance.
I tried to lose my envious nature, but at one point he held her close, too close I reckoned. I felt like shouting out to them “Aye mate, make room for Jesus”! This bit came from couple of elderly nuns who had been chaperoning one of my old seminarian academy dances, would walk up to couples dancing a wee bit too close in their eyes, and place their hands between them, separating them a bit, while spouting off, “make room for Jesus children”- Ginny and I had been amongst the chastised ourselves!
When sis got back I rose and greeted the pair, shaking his hand as sis introduced us. She did not say I was her brother, so I knew that she wasn’t eager for any repeat performances. The Git had hands that didn’t know where to stop, in my opinion anyhows. But all that didn’t change the fact that my sister was still a bit smitten with the gigoloish bloke. All in all though, he was quit the polite bugger, shooting me a self-confident look like, ‘no worries old chap’, as I shook a firm hand, I nodded, and off he went to those greener pastures.
I turned to my now still fawning sister, Remember Brian I said, and she just gave me a simpering smile. I held out my hand, care to, Mademoiselle? Sorry luv, She apologized, I need to freshen up a bit first and she darted off like a swallow taking wing. She started to head off to the exit stairs, whoa I called out after her, powder room is the opposite way luv! No doing, she said as she coyly looked back at me over her shoulder, whispering her words, not sharing with any of those old crows, I will be using the one downstairs in the main lobby! And she scurried away on her mission, long gown fluttering merrily about her high heels.
I waited, bored, not one pretty female came up to my side and asked me to have a go on the dance floor, like “fingers” romeo had done with me sister. I looked around carefully, but I just did not see any female of the same ilk sitting alone and bored as I was at her own table, waiting for someone to rescue her pretty self. So I waited, and waited as the minutes went by, 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 26,27,28,29..I had just decided to take a meander down to make sure there was nothing serious going on the first floor that might have been keeping her, like say, a sudden breakout of kittens, when I finally saw her smirking face popping up from the stairwell.
As she sat down I tried to playfully admonish her behavior, failing miserably. About time I said, since when does it take 30 minutes to have a P.. she cut me off by placing a finger to my lips, Sorry luv, You wouldn’t believe the twit I just ran into she said and leaned closer to me, for my ears only it seemed.
She started talking in a low voice, though no one else was in ear shot. Apparently that private girls Academy dance that is going on downstairs,.. well I , I just ran into one of em, a snobbish princess, a real talker and spinner of tales her about her pretty own self, a young girl named Rose. Sounds like Micke, I said, and sis suddenly exploded into giggles. She finally controlled herself, placing her hand on my shoulder, yes, exactly like our cousin Michele, they almost even look alike, though Micke’s hair is longer, and blonder
Our cousin Micke was one who could never tell the truth about anything, even when she was tattling on some poor soul. Apparently born with an overactive imagination ( Kinda runs in the family I suppose) her stories were always overly embellished with tall tales, stretched out wild examples, and added characterizations, all centered around herself being the Heroine. Someone like that would have made a great children’s story book writer, or gossip columnist, but not our Micke, she turned around and became, of all things, involved in politics….God save the Queen!
The upshot is that we all started to treat anything coming out of Micke’s mouth ( horrid pun that, I do apologize) as mostly fabrication, which would rile her to now end, especially if she was tellin the God’s honest truth! So I knew exactly what this cheeky creature named Rose was all about, as I looked at my giggling sister.
One she caught her breath, Sis started in on Rose. Just as she did, a song started up from the band and rising, I took her hand, lifted her up from her seat, her gown falling swishing down to her feet. But through all that she never stopped talking about the annoyance she had encountered downstairs whom had obviously stricken a nerve! I led my twin to the dance floor, taking the talkative imp into my arms as she continued to fill me in on the quite over imaginative young lady named Rose.
“My Lord” sis exclaimed, as we danced, “within the first ten minutes I learned more about this girl than even her own parents probably know. Talk about stuck up on herself. And did you know there is a rose garden by the entrance, just like her name!”, My sister did an imitation of a twittering nasally voice at the end of her statement, rolling her eyes in disbelief of it all. Of course we had noticed the rose garden, bit difficult not too since it was lining both sides of the concourse into the main way into the building. It had short paths branching off along the way with benches and fountains. But This Rose apparently had acted like she was the only one who had noticed, the rest of us apparently being blind as a colony of bats, Sis spitted out the words.
Sis went on, building up steam, her figure becoming rigid… “She first noticed me dress and come up to compliment me on it, but before I could thank her, she went off on a tirade about her own gown.” OOH, I hate people who ask you a question only because they want to tell cut in about their lives rather than give a listen to anything you may actually have to say… “he thought I was one of the chaperones at her party, apparently because I looked too old to be one of the guests! That stuck a nerve I tell you. I wasn’t able to get word in too let the little tripe know I didn’t belong with her elitist crew atoll!”
She took a breath, and now it was my turn to shush her with a finger placed to her lips. She actually bit it( well more of a playful nip, actually)! Better now I asked. She sighed, and I felt her figure go from tense to a bit more lithe. She leaned against me, yes she said, than pulled away and went off again! One more thing, she asked if my jewels were real, than before I could set the girl straight, Rose cut me off and spouted off about how she had won the pearls she was wearing at the Arthurian Carnival, and had decided to wear them rather than her own better diamonds. I mean, come’on, talk about rude, her pearls weren’t any more real than this, and she flipped her necklace in my face, then sis caught the look in me eyes, and went quiet, concentrating on her dancing, with a wicked little grin creeping across her face. Finally we were able to enjoy the music as we danced to the rest of the song.
Now after the song ended, sis spied, and dragged me over, to introduce me to her old chief, a pretty lady called Sarah. A lady not much older than ourselves. She had her long hair down, wearing a sequined red gown with long red satin gloves. Her green emeralds were real, a dainty set that set off her figure rather nicely. She was a rather pleasant lady, with a mischievous gleam to her green eyes. It had been a pleasant conversation, which ended abruptly as her husband called her away. As Sarah moved off, Sis explained that Sarah had been the “class clown” always telling jokes and playing tricks. But being the boss, no one who fell victim to her pranks ever dared to try and repay her back in kind!
The rest of the evening (shortened because the band was stopped at 9:30 – Barristers are such Scrooges!) followed pretty much to same formula; light mingling with people who only seemed able to talk a few minutes before being called away, snacking on a rather fancy display of hors d’oeuvres , and drinking ( the bar was the best attraction in my humble opinion).
I spotted Romeo a few times, but he never did a second approach on Sis, and I couldn’t really tell if she was relived, or not. As for myself, I was starting to feel fairly pleased that I had resisted the temptation to play any of my tricks on my Twin’s jewelry, so I had been a man of my word, so far. So, it was with mixed feelings from both of us, when the last dance was announced. The whole “congregation” seemed to flock swishing out on the floor, crowding it. It was a slow dance ( Mr. Rod Stewart, as I recall) and quite a pleasant way to end the evening.
Well, it was after the last dance, as we had collected our things to leave, when Sarah caught sight of us and called us over to the bar ( located off the main chambre, it was a small 3 sided room open to the dance floor with no seating) , where she was now holding a lonely court, apparently all alone! Sara was by now also pretty well toshed…..
We ordered a round of drinks ( bar was open till eleven, but the music had ended, a total ballyhoo on someone’s part in the planning) Taking mine, I left the chatting ladies and wondered over ( not for the first time) to a rather fine set of J.M Cameron prints on display. Soon I was joined by the 2 ladies, and I started to explain to Sarah about the photographer’s history.
As we talked, my sister maneuvered herself around behind Sarah. By the look on my sister’s face, I knew she was up to something. She got close behind, and Sarah backed into her, Sarah turned, there you are she said, and smiled, then looked back at me. She appeared to be deeply interested I what I was telling her about the life and times of Julia Margaret, a shirttail cousin of ours! As I continued, I saw that sis had her fingers on the red silk clutch purse that Sarah was holding to her side in her left hand. Sis said, “oh Sara, show my brother your ring”! Sarah held it up and I looked at it, Sis reached put her free hand on Sarah’s left arm, jostling it a bit, as she made like she wanted to look also, ,but I could see the red clutch out of the corner of my eye, and as sis was doing her little performance, she was gently pulling the small purse form Sarah’s gloved fingers. Slippery Satin gloves holding an even slipperier silk clutch purse, made the maneuver much easier than it probably should have. I started feeling a bit uncomfortable as I watched my amused sister manage to slip away with it, and holding the purse behind her come to my side, her back to a wall. We chatted for about another couple of long minutes, before Sarah was called away, and she left us, never realizing her clutch purse was gone. We walked steadfastly away, I imitated Bogart, and how much do you think the dame has in her purse. Oh, my twin answered, a few pence, and a soiled lace handkerchief she joked, without opening the purse.
Fine I said, you get the handkerchief, Rather not she said, giggling, and we headed over to The now deserted table Sarah had been sitting at, and Sis unflappably placed the purse on Sarah’s’ chair, alongside her satin wrap.
So have I created a monster no? I asked her as I led her away, she looked up at me with those big eyes of hers wide open with satisfaction, no worries luv, Sarah was always playing tricks on someone another, I just never dared to pay her back when we worked together. Just how much work did you girls actually accomplish? I chided She just sqoze my arm, and hurried me our way, as we tried not to look like we were bolting for the exit stairway.
We gained the stairs without any further ado, and made it through the lobby, and had gained the outside concourse, when I saw something up ahead, and taking my sister’s arm , I held her up from going any further.
Ahead of us was a petite lady in a shimmering blue satin dress, chatting away to a bored looking young man in an ill-fitting tux. If the lass’s hair had been a bit more blonde, and longer she would have passed as Micke’s double. Is that your Rose then I asked, nodding in the couple’s direction?
Sis looked over, and then answered me by pulling me forcibly the rest of the way off the path and out of sight of the main concourse, into a small alcove surrounded by some hedges. What do we do she said , That is her! That’s that twit of a creature named Rose I was tellin you about! She looked back towards the building, I don’t want to go back in she said, Sara my see us. What do we do?
The pair were some distance off in the rose garden. But there was no way out other than walking past them. I thought about it for a minute. Looking at my sister, in her quite fetching gown, with its sparkling bodice, as well as the sparkling rhinestone she was wearing, made me recall the fantasizing I had been doing as she had danced with that posh bloke. Thinking of him being a Jewel thief, and watching the other female guests in their finery, had been putting beguiling visions in my head all the evening long. Let’s play a game I said, one that will give yonder Rose a story no one will believe ever happened.. My sister looked at me wryly,( I could see it in her eyes,’ no time for games now lad, this is serious’’ but she just stated inquisitively, what sort of game sir?
One where we get yonder Rose girl to believe you have met a jewel thief I said, I could feel myself warming up to the idea now that I had said it. If we pull it off, that will be a story she will try telling that everyone will believe she totally made up in her head.
My sister balked, no, she said, one bit of fun this evening has been enough for this girl.
Okay I said, but how would this girl feel about having a bit of fun if she wasn’t owing her brother £80?
I saw her mascaraed eye’s light up, and she again gave me that wicked grin. Let’s have it than you scoundrel, I will give into your chicanery for the debt you hold over my head sir , she said giggling, stealing a line from a play she had been involved with. Knowing I had her hooked, I could tell she was warming up to the idea rather nicely, and not just because she owed me a healthy bit of the realms’ currency.
First off, I said, you don’t know me from Adam.
But your name’s not Adam she said in all seriousness.
Attend pleas, I told her smiling.
You go up and fall into Roses clutches, I follow once the lad leaves after being freed from his bondage.
Hey, how did bondage get into this she said, giggling, I don’t owe you that much mister. I just looked at her, we have to do this seriously to pull it off.
Okay she said, placing a hand across her mouth, like she was zipping it shut.
I follow after the lad leaves ( and he soon will ). I come up on the two of you, and make your acquaintances. Your act will be to find me charming… that’s not going to be easy, sis said, then quickly went back to listening
Then you, I said ignoring her, and continuing on …..
Once Rose has me in her hooks, you Meander off, bend down to look at some flowers, remove your earrings, and place them into your purse. I will listen on for a bit, take my leave, let Rose come find you, and let her discover your earrings are gone. Then let her think they were stolen by you? She asked. Right, and she should, as bobs your uncle, fall right into your story, I said. Then added, just play along like they were real diamonds and astonished at how I had managed to get them. Send Rose off back inside to go upstairs find your mother Sarah,( sis like that bit of it), and say in the meanwhile you are going off to see if you can get me license number. I will be waitin by the car to make our getaway….
I finished mapping it out, and she told me she had the gist of it. I had her hand pull her sunglasses from her purse and I put them on. Then she asked before walking off, “ not bad for on the fly, or had you already been putting thought into this play earlier?” I just patted her on her derriere, get going lass, times a wastin.
Turning she headed out, and from a hole in the hedgerow I watched as she moved off, her gown definitely swished in a most pleasing fashion I admitted to myself again. I’ll have to have Ginny buy one like it, I thought to meself, wincing over how pretty the thing was with sis wearing it , imagining my Ginny wearing it, her long red hair flowing free. I would willing give Ginny the money also, I promised to meself, no lending, and hang the cost….
Sis rustled her way up to the couple, Rose spotted her immediately and pulled her over. The 3 of them started to chit chat together.
I now thought of myself as the smarmy bloke who had cheated me out of a dance earlier, making him a thief in my mind. And like said thief, looking over the situation before me. I remembered an old show where this bloke in a white suit was pointing out his female guests jewels to a male who fancied himself a pickpocket and had just minutes earlier relieved the white suited host of his gold watch. As the camera (representing the blokes eyes) moved around the room, focusing on various well-dressed ladies and their jewels( hanging around necks, dangling from ears, attached to well-shaped bosoms ,bracelets wrapped around gloved wrists and ,rings glittering on fingers) the viewer was led to imagine the wheels turning in his head as to how he was to acquire them, ala Arsène Lupin. I had to leave, so I never finished watching it, nor could I ever find it listed again. But it was this type of character that I now fancied meself portraying.
(In Character) I had ducked into the hedge, the pair near the bend had not seen me, so it gave me time to plan how best to approach them. One was wearing a pretty dress of blue, long black hair up in a bun. She was the younger, definitely not a relation, I could tell by the way her companion was listening. The girl was wearing a cheap set of pearls, paste, not worth more in a few farthings. It was her companion that had caught me eye, and not just the pretty gown she had quite nicely wrapped herself in. But it was her diamonds, a pretty glittering set, that with a minimal bit of effort, would be coming home with me. I had actually danced with her earlier, so I had been able to appraise em, and now providence had put her in me way. I remembered how that shimmery little necklace had been taunting me while we had danced, my fingers had ached for a go at them. Now, all I needed was for a brief diversion, to get both the girl’s attention focused elsewhere, by, say smelling a rose, and with a nimble flick of me fingers, the necklace would be off from around her sweet throat and in me pocket. Possibly those dangling earrings of hers instead, if it was a long time she was paying attention to her roses.
My brief fantasy ended abruptly, it was time. Sis said something to the lad, who had been growing more and more uncomfortable, he answered, and then, managing to interject into Roses story long enough to pay his leave, He walked off. He was now coming up the path towards me, but not seeing me as I had moved further into the hedgerow. He walked on past, staring straight ahead…
Mentally prepared, I waited till he was well past my hiding hole. I adjusted the sunglasses and left my shadowy corner. Between the electric lamps that run along the gardens path, and the waning moon, I was able to see quite clearly with them. I also saw happily that the sparkles from sis dress and jewelry were not at all too muted.
I silently approached, came up upon the two without notice. They both jumped( In a quite charming manner, actually) as I started to speak.
Excuse me, this is that way out I asked, sounding confused. Certainly both girls chirped, and Rose pointed to the way out. Sis asked me if I had been at the dance. What dance I answered.? Is that why the two of you are so beautifully dressed. . Rose ate it up. And showing off her gown to me( and unknowingly ,her pearls) happily took the lead, telling me of the academies dance. As Rose started to tell me about all her academy, I walked over to a bush of white roses just off one of the branching paths, at the end of this particular path was as a fountain from which merrily gurgling falling water could be faintly heard. I bent down to smell a white rose. I offered it up to my sister, who bent over to sniff, her necklace and earrings swaying to and fro in a quite nice exhibition of colorfully brite sparkles. Rose just stood behind us, kept on chatting with her story, as I winked at my sister and she winked back. We both stood back up.
Sis turned to Rose, and suggested she take a smell also. As Rose ( still chattering )bent down to smell, sis, who had had her hand on Rose shoulder let go and of it, and as I watched out of the corner of my eye I saw my sister move her hand to the back of her neck and subtly undo her own rhinestone necklace, slipping it off, then she moved behind me as Rose, in her tight fitting dress, managed to stand back up and faced us, still prattling on. I was half listening, wondering what my sister was up to, changing the game plan like that. From behind me I felt the subtlest touch of a hand, and realized something was being skillful placed into me pocket, a reverse pick I remembered thinking, when all of a sudden, from behind me, I heard sis exclaim, all too loudly enough , “me necklace, its gone! “
Rose looked and I turned, me twin was standing there, holding a hand to her bare throat, looking down at the front of her gown. It was here a minute ago she went on, and then looked me dead in the eye, absolutely in all seriousness, “You!, it was you me lad, took me necklace as I was smellin them roses didn’t he Rose!” She looked at Rose, who was now looking me over aghast, as she started to check her own jewels to see if any of em were missing, nodded in agreement.
I was totally taken aback by the accusation, and placing a hand in my pocket with out thinking, felt the necklace, which startled me no end, even though I knew that it was there. All the while uncomfortably wondering how this story would be ending up?
Rose glared at me, “not much of a jewel thief then are you?” My sister and I both just looked at the prig , our jaws dropping as Rose carried on with it. “ Anyone can plainly see me pearls are worth a lot more than her shiny baubles!” she stated quite matter of factly. Sis kicked in without missing a beat, saying to me, quite a bit too rudely I thought , “How could you make a mistake like that, especially since nicking her pearls would have been child’s play to someone of your ilk!”
Rose, totally missing the insult, lifted up her necklace and taunting me with it, as she asked me twin, “ what should we do with ‘em, get the police? As Rose turned her attention back to me, I saw me sisters face over the top of Rosie’s head, smiling all for the world like the cat catching the canary. My sister said to the back of Rose’s head” No, go back inside and find out how many others lost jewels, you will be a hero. Ill take care of this one! Rose’s smug face lit up at the thought, as she turned and looked back at my sister. Sis held out her arms, and Rose went and gave my twin a big hug. Then turning and giving me a glare as she passed and off she went. I didn’t think it important to tell her that her pearl necklace was now absent from around her throat.
As Rose traipsed happily back up the path, sis grabbed me arm, “come along thief, best we get going.
I watched for a second, as me sister dropped the pearl necklace on the grass, where it laid clearly visible, and with a swish of her gown scurried off. She looked back at me, get a move on then, and I broke me stance and went dutifully after her.
We scurried to the entrance, and crossed into the lot and made for the other side, skirting around towards my vehicle while making sure the coast was clear. We regained my Mercedes. I let my sister in, slamming the door and practically jumping over the hood to get to the drivers side. Peeling off my suit coat and tie, tossing them along with the glasses into the jump seat , I climbed in fired up the engine, and tried not to speed as I left the parking lot.
As I had pulled slowly away, a couple had walked out and were heading to their car, paying us no never mind other than a nosy glance by the gentleman at me car. But I figured it was time to make ourselves scarce, and put up a bit of speed.
So, I said, still facing forward as I turned from the lot, what was that all about?
Killin a pair of birds with me stone she replied in a quite self-satisfied tone of voice. Then she started to fill me in on what had been transpiring before I had made me entrance…
When that Rose creature and I were talking with that lad she had snared, She admired me diamonds, then said, not real ducky, are they. Well I thought that was pretty rude, but held me tongue, and avoiding a smart answer, I asked about her pearls. were they real? Pretty valuable she said, I only spent 6 shillings at the carnival, but he said they were worth a lot more! . Then she shad started repeating the same nonsense about how she had a real diamond necklace at home that was worth quite a bit, and she was angry her Mater had not wanted her to wear the them out this evening,
So, then when I saw you coming up to play, I thought of a new plan to humiliate Rose. Can you just imagin what is going on in the ball room now.
…. and she broke into that nasely twang she had use earlier in imitation of Rose..
Rose- “Everybody There’s a thief stealing everyone’s jewelry! ! Party Guest- “ I see( in a disbelieving tone) “Rose, no one is missing jewelry “ Except you, what did you do with your necklace?” Rose – He must of stole it, the thief!” Party Guest- “What thief Rose, were is he?” “Rose- “Outside with me friend, he nicked her imitation dimonds dint he!” Part Guest-“ Rose, why would a thief steal fake diamonds?, and what Friend would that be now?” Rose- “ The chaperone, you know, the one with the silvery gown and long black hair!” Party Guest –“ Ther wasn’t no chaperone wearing a silver dress , show us what you are on about!” ( On the path by the rose bush) “ there’s no one here, Rose, and there are your pearls, laying on the ground! you and your stories you balmy twi…..”
Sis could not finish her routine, starting to chortle so hard at the picture of it in her mind, she nearly busted a gut. But I still had questions, so after she was through patting herself on the back I said
I get that, and it was a brilliant piece of work, but why call me out on it, that wasn’t the plan, me dear.
I know luv, she said, again quite smugly, placing her hand on me shoulder…. Recall that time you had me jewels in your pocket after the wedding reception, I owed you one luv, and having you put on for stealing me necklace was payback.
Use shortcut below for the story:
I had forgotten that you had said I would be paid back someday I admitted, and it was a really grand way of doing It I praised her, and saw her smile radiantly as I stole a look out of the corner of me eye.
Then she could contain herself no more, and starting to chortle so hard at the picture of all of it in her mind, she nearly busted a gut. I also was smirking, the whole affair, in my opinion, had all played out brilliantly!
All in all, twas a merry drive back to town for us, with me twin sister talking miles a minute over her successes that evening, including the obvious fact that she was quite pleased with herself for not only had she finally gotten her sweet revenge on the remaining member of the group who had swiped her diamonds on a dare so long ago, but her debt to me had been paid totally off in the process..
With interest paid darling, I thought to myself, as I stole a glance at my beautifully decked out passenger, with interest paid!
A bit of a side note:
Come to find out later the police were actually called to the place much later in the wee hours of the morning. Apparently some bloke in a tux waylaid two ladies he had met and been chatting with as they were all leaving an mugged them both good and proper. He was caught, but I still chuckle in wonder what Rose would have made of it all?
I do highly encourage anyone who has read my chronicles,( or looked at the clips below) and on the off-chance may actually have been entertained by them, and would like me to divulge more of our tomfooleries , to please leave behind a comment expressing that point.
Food for thought:
Jewelry lifting Clips
Courtesy of Chatwick University Archives
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